The Great Facade- Why do we compare?

I remember being a young mother raising my tiny kids and looking around at those around me thinking "Man, everyone else has it put together. What is wrong with me?" I saw them with their reverent children in the church pew, with their fancy dresses and perfectly curled hair. I saw their hand shoot up when asked who could help someone else. I saw their Facebook posts of the latest birthday cake they made and the Pinterest-perfect décor. I was burnt out and tired. How were they all doing so well and I felt like I was dragging along behind a bus. 

And then, I took a step in the dark and decided I would book some playdates with some of these Moms and the lesson I learned made me sit back and laugh at myself. Why? Well, because I saw that Mom's during the week looked just like me with their hair thrown up in a bun and their sweat pants on. I saw that those Pinterest posts were more moments of accomplishment that something right had come together instead of a 'hey look at what I did that you can't do'. I saw that reverent children didn't always happen and I had witnessed a rare moment of peace. I saw that I wasn't the only one being dragged behind the bus, but we were all there- all struggling to keep up, all exhausted, all doing our best each day. 

These revelations brought hope to my life. I felt chastened and silly, but as I sat back I realized we do this all the time. We look at other people and see the façade- just the outside of what happens in their life and we judge ourselves by that. It's not fair to us and it's not fair to them. Those facades become barriers that prevent us from making connections and further light the fire that tells us we're never going to be good enough. As we choose to bridge those gaps of perceived inequality we may learn that we are more alike than we realized. We may even find a companion and confident that provides us the strength we needed. So, when you find yourself comparing your life to someone else's I hope you'll choose to step out of your own brain and get to know them. May they remind you that we all are human and we are all in this together.